


Blame it on the Mistlefoe

by MollyKillers



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Funny Arguments, M/M, Rafael puts Stone in his place, background Barisi, basically how the squad celebrates Christmas, kinda dumb, mistlefoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollyKillers/pseuds/MollyKillers
Summary: Fun idea hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing you have to fight whoever else is under it.So 'mistlefoe' if you willSomeone’s hall’s are getting decked!
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	Blame it on the Mistlefoe

**Author's Note:**

> So, in this AU I’m in my perfect SVU world. AKA Mike Dodds didn’t die because why would he. Rafael never killed a baby because why would he. Also, Stone is there because contrary to popular belief I actually like Stone. I think if he was introduced better more people would like him to.
> 
> I got this idea from a tumblr post someone posted on twitter.  
> Also, this started out funny then took a less funny turn because apparently, I had some pent-up aggression haha so yeah
> 
> Hope you like it still :)

Mike cocked his head as he stared at the green plant hanging by a red string between Carisi’s and Fin’s desk. “Fin?” he asked as he kept staring at the weird sight while he walked closer to the man’s desk “do you know that there is mistletoe hung next to your desk?”.

Fin looked up and smiled “yeah, I’m the one who put it there”. Mike looked at the man then back at the plant a couple times. “Do I even wanna know why? I mean not to be rude but we work in the sex crimes department, and mistletoe is a very... interesting plant... also you don’t seem one for random holiday kisses...” he paused after he said that realizing that Fin probably would be the only one okay with that ”... from coworkers I mean” he corrected. 

Fin cracked a wide smile and leaned back in his chair and laughed. “You right, and that’s why that’s not mistletoe”. Mike frowned and looked up at the green thing again and squinted “either my eyes are going or that’s 100% mistletoe”. Fin shook his head “well yeah it’s mistletoe but it’s also not”. 

Mike shot him a look utterly confused “what?”. Fin pointed up “that there my friend is mistlefoe”. Mike scrunched his face in confusion “.... what?”. Fin just smiled “mistlefoe”. Mike pinched the bridge of his nose “no I get that but what does that even mean?”. 

Fin leaned his arms against his desk “well you see I saw this post on the internet about instead of hanging mistletoe and kissing people you hang it and call it mistlefoe, and instead of kissing the person underneath it you have to fight that person”. 

Mike cracked a smile and began to chuckle “what?!?!”. Fin nodded and chuckled lightly “you see the holidays are always to cheery and full of love and joy. Especially sitting by that ray of holiday cheer”. He pointed to Carisi’s desk that was covered head to toe in red and green tinsel with a little tree attached to the top of his monitor. Mike stared at the desk that looked like Christmas threw up on it. “How did I even miss that monstrosity?”. Fin shrugged “so I decided to take it upon myself to help people air their grievances”. 

Mike chuckled “as he walked to his desk and sat down “you are truly something else Fin”. Fin smiled his classic smile “I do what I can”.

**********

Sonny strolled into the precinct with an extra spring in his step as he marched over to Mike’s desk. “Happy first Christmas with the 16th” he said joyously as he threw some silver tinsel at Mike. Mike smiled up at his best friend as he pulled the tinsel from his hair “happy Christmas to you too”. 

Sonny sat down a basket, obviously full of baked goods, in front of Mike. “As this is your first Christmas with the squad you get to have first dibs of mother Carisi’s famous Christmas cookies”. Mike smiled happily as he looked down into the full basket at all the different colored and shaped cookies. “I’m honored” he said picking up a reindeer cookie “but shouldn’t Barba get first dibs”. Sonny chuckled as he picked up a blue and pink striped stocking cookie “he was there when they were made so he already got his share”. 

Mike nodded and took a bite into the cookie lightly moaning as the cookie melted in his mouth and its flavors exploded on his tongue. “Okay what kind of cookie is this”. Carisi smiled a triumphant smile and brought a finger to his lips, “it’s my ma’s famous holiday recipe and if she knew I told anyone anything about it, even you my best friend, she would kill me”. Mike lightly rolled his eyes and chuckled “fine, if you won’t tell me you’ll just have to keep making them for me”. Sonny placed about 5 cookies on his desk “now that I can do”. 

The two men were interrupted from their cookie talk when Olivia walked into the squad room. Sonny immediately popped up and walked towards her “I got my ma’s famous cookies” he yelled. Liv immediately stopped and turned his direction meeting him by Fin’s desk. “The most wonderful time of the year” she smiled as she reached in and took a couple. 

Mike looked over at the two of them then up at the ceiling. “Fin!” he yelled towards the break room “it’s happening!”. Fin popped his head out of the room and grinned widely “yes!”. 

Liv looked up and lightly face palmed “not again Fin... this didn’t work out last year”. Sonny looked up then jumped away “no, no, no, I’m not fighting my boss”. Fin pulled Sonny’s arm till he was back under the plant. “Come on it’s our yearly tradition and with two new squad members it only seems fare”. 

Sonny sagged “fine... but Liv gets to start it”. Fin slapped Carisi on the shoulder “that’s my boy. Okay Liv start an argument”. Liv looked her detective up and down as she thought “I think the Polar Express is an awful movie”. Sonny gasped “what?!?!”. Liv nodded “the animation is freaky and the story is a little... odd”. 

Sonny sat down his basket of cookies and glared “it’s a timeless tale of keeping Christmas alive in your heart!”. Liv scoffed “it’s boring and some parts don’t make any sense”. Sonny pouted “I can’t believe you would say that! It’s a masterpiece for the time and Tom Hanks is a national treasure”. Liv shrugged and tilted her head “I’m not saying anything about Tom Hanks all I’m saying is it’s weird he played most of the characters including the little boy, and it scares Noah”.

Sonny sighed and nodded “yeah... that is a downside... fine I’ll let you win”. Fin grabbed and raised one of Liv’s arms “we have our first champion”.

Mike started laughing and lightly choked on a bite of cookie “man I thought you guys like actually fought you know like fist to cuffs?”. Fin shook his head “dude we’re in a police precinct we can’t just fight fight... so we fight with words”. Mike laughed some more “this season is going to be so interesting I can already tell”.

Liv laughed as she walked to her office “I don’t think that thing is going to make it to Christmas”.

**********

The mistlefoe somehow lasted almost two weeks of being up before it had to be taken down.

The second ‘fight’ that happened was between Amanda and Sonny who fought about which sport was better hockey or football. The fight was declared a draw by Fin who just wanted them to shut up.

The third ‘fight’ was between Mike and Amanda about which was the best lead to follow through with. Amanda was declared the winner and her lead led to bringing in two perps. She gloated about it for about five days.

The fourth was between Mike and Sonny but it wasn’t really a fight. Mike picked a fight about which food was better for lunch either Pizza or Thai. In the end they went to both places and shared loving both places equally.

The fifth was between Amanda and Liv and it was heated. Amanda had fucked up a case by ignoring Liv’s orders. Olivia sent Amanda home afterwards it was so bad. 

Surprisingly that wasn’t what made the mistlefoe be taken down though. That belonged to the sixth and final fight.

It was the day before Christmas when, as predicted by the captain herself, the mistlefoe had to be taken down because a fight went too far. 

It was one of those ‘we can’t leave until we figure this out’ kind of cases and everyone was running on empty. A hundred different leads had been followed but nothing seemed to come from it. It was so bad that Barba, who had situated himself at the precinct just to make it easier, had to call in his new underling Peter Stone to help be the go between between the office and the precinct. 

While Liv and Sonny followed up on a lead the rest of the squad and the DA sat around the bullpen as they worked through new ideas. Rafael was sitting at his husband’s desk nursing an extra strong coffee as he surveyed the rest of the room.

Nothing seemed to be going right and everyone was on edge. So, when Stone came into the room wearing a smug look Rafael already wanted to ‘deck his halls’ if you catch his drift. 

Stone walked up to Amanda’s desk and leaned against it as he said something to her. Rafael scrunched his face before standing up and walking closer to hear what was going on. 

“All I’m saying Rollins is that if you look at it this way maybe something will click” Stone said condescendingly. Amanda pulled an annoyed face and turned from her computer towards him “I already did and nothing ‘clicked’ as you say so just zip it”. Rafael frowned as he heard Amanda’s annoyed tone come through. “Oh, come on,” Stone said in a whiny way “you’re acting like I asked you to let the guy go. I’m just making a suggestion”. 

Rafael rolled his eyes at his ADA’s words. He thought Stone was fine at doing his job but his personality could use some work, and by could he meant 100% needed a new approach to everything personality wise. 

“Umm guys” Mike said interrupting Stone’s next annoying words. Mike pointed up and Rafael didn’t even have to look up to know where he was pointing. “Fuck” he said under his breath.

Stone looked up and is eyes grew wide “listen both of you are great but I’m not kissing either of you”. Rafael rolled his eyes “as if you could get so lucky, this isn’t mistletoe... it’s mistlefoe”. Stone had a moment of recognition cross his face “is this what Sonny was compiling about in the office the other day?”. Rafael nodded “yep”. 

Stone bit at his lip “so now I have to argue with both of you?”. Amanda threw up her hands and rolled away “not me this is my desk so it’s deemed a safe zone”. Stone lightly gulped “so I have to fight Rafael?”. Mike nodded from his desk as he held back a laugh as he already knew Stone was about to be killed. 

Stone turned to fully face Rafael “so who’s going to start it”. Rafael did his best to hold back a predatory grin “I’ll be nice and let you start it”. Stone frowned and bit the inside of his check “umm...”. Rafael put up a hand motioning him to stop “anything said here is between friends not collages. So, don’t worry that I’m your boss. I won’t hold anything you say against you”. 

Stone’s shoulders relaxed a little at the words “okay... ummm... I think that your relationship with the squad clouds your judgment sometimes...”. The room seemed to become silent at Stone’s words. Mike’s eyes grew wide as he saw Rafael’s body slightly stiffen “uh oh” he said under his breath to Amanda who nodded back in agreement.

Rafael straightened his back and let the silence hang for a moment. He watched Stone began to lightly fidget under his gaze. He took a deep breath before saying anything. “You think so, do you?” Rafael said keeping his tone controlled. 

Stone gulped and lightly nodded “I do. I... umm... I think sometimes you let them push you around because of your connection to them... especially Olivia and Sonny. It’s your job to keep them in line and yet you don’t”. 

He paused as he straightened up gaining more confidence “Olivia and them run circles around you and you do nothing. And don’t get me started on Sonny, you have a bias towards him that always makes you lean in his direction”. 

Fin finally looked up and shook his head at the mention of his friends’ names “oh you dumb son of a bitch” he said as he leaned back in his chair to watch the fight. 

Rafael watched Stone for a moment, letting the silence grow. “I think my relationships allows me to be a better DA, and I’ll tell you why”. He took a step closer to Stone “when I first joined I was like you”. He looked Stone up and down almost sizing him up. “I thought the law was black and white. I assumed every case had a yes or no answer”. 

He paused for a moment and looked around the room. “But that’s not the case. Everything is gray. The law is an outline, but it doesn’t have all the answers. We work within its outline everyday so we know where it stands firm and where it lacks. I might know the law better than anyone in this room, but that doesn’t mean I understand how people fit into it best. You know who does though?”.

He took another step “this squad of detectives. It’s my job to uphold the law, but it’s their job to do everything else. They know better than anyone how to move in those parameters. Olivia has been doing this job longer than you’ve been in law so don’t ever try to say anything negative about her. Also, Sonny may be my husband, but he is so much more. He is a detective and a lawyer. He navigates those lines perfectly. So, they are not clouding my judgment Stone they are improving it”. 

Stone huffed and rolled his eyes “see this is what I’m talking about. They are your friends and you let them get in the way. Olivia says jump and you ask how high. You let them cry in your office and then you give people reduced sentences. Like come on there is no need to have a bleeding heart in the courtroom”. 

Rafael rolled his eyes “you’re dumber than I thought Stone”. Stone’s eyes widened “what?!?”. Rafael shook his head “I said you’re dumber than I thought”. He took a step closer obviously pissed now “yes these detective are my friends, but that doesn’t mean they get in the way. They make our job possible. We have to listen to them and use their judgments to help do our jobs. Because they know exactly how bad these people are. They also know what lead to these acts. Sometimes that makes us reduce sentences or go after different people, but that’s not a bad thing. The law is a made-up thing with rigid rules, but people are flesh and bone. They aren’t rigid and they don’t have perfect answers. So yeah maybe I change my views because of this squad, but that doesn’t mean my judgment is clouded. It means the clouds are gone and I’m seeing clearly”.

Stone visible shrunk at Rafael’s impassioned speech.

Rafael paused, took a breath, and stepped away “this argument isn’t going to convince you of anything. You’ll see in time that feelings or “bleeding hearts” as you say make the courtroom a much better place”. He stepped back again and leaned against Sonny’s desk “now I need you to take these files back to the office before I say something I regret”. 

Stone stared at Rafael confused and slightly scared for a moment “oh... okay I guess”. He took the files from the DA’s hands and walked out of the precinct with his head down. 

Rafael slouched down into Sonny’s chair once he knew his underling was gone. “That was quite a show counselor” Fin said smiling over at his friend. Rafael scrunched his face and nodded before looking up and staring at the hanging plant. 

“Hey Mike?” Liv asked as she and Sonny walked into the room not a moment later. “Yeah? What can I do for you?” Mike asked sitting up. “Will you do me a favor and take that thing down?” Liv asked pointing to the mistlefoe. “Uh yeah sure I guess” Mike shrugged as he walked over and yanked it down. 

“Why” Fin asked as he looked at Liv. She looked over to Sonny’s desk where Rafael was wearing a glare as he talked to Sonny “I saw Stone leaving with his tail between his legs. I’m assuming Stone and Rafa got into a fight and Rafa won. So, I think we’re done with this”. Fin smiled and leaned back in his chair. Mike nodded “yeah Rafael ripped him a new one... it was glorious to watch”. Fin chuckled “tis’ the season am I right?”.

Mike looked down at the plant in his hands then over to Sonny and Rafael. “Hey catch” he yelled over to them before throwing the plant. Sonny grabbed it and looked at it before looking up at his friend. “We have no use for it but maybe you do” Mike chuckled.

Sonny looked to his husband and wiggled his eyebrows before dangling the plant over his head. Rafael’s glare softened as he looked up at his love “why are you like this?” he chuckled before leaning up and kissing Sonny’s check.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Follow me on twitter to keep up with my weird writing/just to be friends  
> \- @MollyKillers


End file.
